where I am now

It's currently august 9th 00.34 am. Three days after I turned 22, another milestone reached in my life. (warning these are midnight rambles, it's really long and I go all over the place but .. I feel it's a good message)

I solo traveled to Italy for 3 weeks and here is what happened

In April I decided I wanted to go an an adventure with my bike. I've been cycling now for about 2 years now and ever since I bought that bike it has been a dream of mine to take it all around the world with me and see all these wonderfull places while doing what I love the most: cycling. I started thinking about easy and cheap places to go, because my budget as a not working student isn't that big. I stumbled upon Lisbon, it's a place I'd never been before, the weather is great and I found some stunning hostels. So that was it, I decided I would go to Lisbon for 3 weeks with my bike. I still kept it to myself so I could first figure everything out and then bombard my parents with the news. I didn't tell anyone what I was planning but I was getting so excited to go to a new country all by myself and do something I'd never done before. I have solo traveled before, but taking a bike is something else (now writing this while my holiday is over, I can definitely confirm that). I just couldn't wait for the summer to start.

My ethical and vegan struggles lately

I have been vegan for over 2 years now. When I decided to live this lifestyle I went 200% for it. I quit animal products overnight. Threw away all my unethical make-up and beauty products. Learned about the ethics when it comes to leather, wool, silk, ... I watched every documetary ever made about veganism, healty lifestyle, unethical fashion. You name it and I have probaly seen it. I felt so ready to take on this new adventure and passion for something bigger than myself, to save this planet and the vulnerable animals living on it with us. The only non vegan stuff I still owned were leather shoes and some wool sweaters and scarfs. That was it. I felt great! I was for the first time my life happy again and excited to live this life. The first year I was vegan I was mostly inspired by these picture perfect people I saw online. I felt like I needed a life like them to be truly happy. I didn't realize it back then, but now I see how I was just trying to be someone I saw online. They all seemed so happy and without any worris. Which btw if you think realistily you know no ones life is picture perfect. We all have shit in our life. It might have been wrong to try to make my life like theirs but in a way it really helped me to try and be the best vegan out there. I barely ate junk. Only fruits, vegetbles, rice, pasta and beans. I ate in abundance. Never worried about calories I never craved unhealthy packaged foods. I felt like a new person. Everything was just perfect. I also never felt the urge to buy leathers shoes or make-up tested on animals, because I had seen all these horrifying video's where they show what really goes on behind the scenes. I was repulsed by that. I never wanted to support that Industry ever again in my life. It made me sick to my stomach that people could support animals and human being abused like that. I never stepped into H&M or Zara ever again. 

what do I put on my face

Make-up, something I have love hate relationship with. I have terrible acne, you might not be able to tell on these pictures but it's there and I hate it. So I wear make-up to cover it up. I have the confidence to go outside without all this shit on my face. I do it often, but I don't like the way I look at all with all these red pimpeles over my chin and cheeks so when I want to like feel myself I cover it up. The thing is, I love make-up. It's an art in my opinion, you can express yourself with it, make-up is not only foundation and concealer to cover your bad skin, it can be so much more: glitters, bright colors, crazy eyeshadow, ... I love those kinda things. So I don't mind putting on make-up. What I do mind is that now I know I don't only put it on because I want to express myself but because I want to cover something. That's why I hate it on the other hand. Lately I have experimenting more so it doesn't just feel like covering up, and it's been amazing. I have so much fun putting it on in the morning and can't wait to start experimenting more.

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