Celebrating being vegan for two years

Monday, 31 July 2017

Today marks the day I decided to give up all animal products. And to be completely honest, this vegan journey has been so much easier than I ever expected it to be. I cried my whole way through telling my mom that I wanted to go vegan, why I wanted to do it and how much it meant to me. I thought it would never be possible. I thought that it would be so hard for my parents to understand and that they would never allow me to do this. I felt so powerless, I really wanted to stop hurting all those animals but did not saw this happening while still living at home. I actually laugh a little when I think back about that time. I made this lifestyle look so much more dramatic and difficult in my head than it actually is. I did not tell my parents I was vegan for four months ... Because I was too scared about what they would think about me. When in reality, we never even notice I eat different than the rest. My family eats so much vegetables, I almost never have to cook for myself. So why was I so stressed over this? I think when we first hear about vegansim we turn it into this big thing, when it's actually just a little adjustment. Don't be like me, and just tell your family if you want to be vegan. They will understand. I stopped restricting my calories. And my family saw me become a happier person day by day. How could they be against me being more happy than ever before.

I started this journey thinking it would be so hard, thinking everybody would think I was the strange kid. But it turned out perfect. I became happy, more confident, more social, learned to love myself and my body, I learned to speak up for myself and what I believe in, I met some of the most amazing people through veganism that I otherwise would have never met. It made me a better and happier person. I never thought food could have such a big impact on your life. It's just a basic human need. But after these years I learned it's so much more. You really are what you eat. And not in a physical way. But mentally. If you decide what you put in your body, if you support an ethical way of living, it gives you so much joy and fulfilling. I am happy every day about the way I decide to live my life. I live a life without regrets and guilt. I know I am putting the right foods in my body to grow old as healthy as I possibly can be. And knowing that, makes me feel better than ever. 

After years off hating myself, for the way I looked, felt and was. I finally found peace. I still struggle sometimes. But it's different. Before I felt so lost, and felt like there was no solution or way out of these feelings. Now I know I will feel better the next day. And that there is a way for me. A way of living that makes me happy and feel good about myself. That there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

Veganism is something very personal. It would be ideal if the whole world became vegan. But over the years I learned you have to be ready to take this step a 100% by yourself. You can't be pushed to live this way. It's something that has to feel right for you. Nothing against your beliefs will turn out feeling right. I think that I feel this happy is because I made this decision after informing myself on this topic and really falling in love with the idea of having a lifestyle like this. I can't imagine living a life where I consume animals. I reached my two year mark and can't wait for all the years that still have to come. I will never go back.


Me at 20 - for my future self

Wednesday, 26 July 2017

In one week I will be 21. Fuck.. that's old. Like act like a real adult old, be responsible, be independent, know your shit old. And here I am in my first year at college, still trying to figure out what I want in life. I am running a little bit behind on schedule compared to my other peers. Normally I would have graduated this year, started to work as a nurse in a hosital or retirement home.. But I chose another path. If this was wise? I still worry about that myself from time to time, but I know I quitted that course for a reason. So it must have been the right decision. I think that has been the toughest thing about growing up for me. Making decisions. I am the worst at it, constantly doubting myself. Not knowing what I want in life, where I see myself 10 in years, and definitely not knowing how I will get to my dreams. I always thought when you grow up you would naturally figure everything out. Everybody that was a grown up had their shit together, so I thought it just came with the age. I think different now. It's something that comes with you as a person. I am just not the type that figures her life out. And I think I am fine with that. 20 going on 21 and still lost in this world. Yep that's me. My life is not how I imagined it would be like at this age. But this is what it is, and that is probably how it was meant to be. So here I take a moment to reflect on my life how it is now. And not dreaming about how I wish it was.

So who I am I at 20 years old? This post is mostly for me to look back at when I am older and feel all nostalgic. I am a very nostalgic person who loves looking back at great memories. I find it very hard that time just ticks by knowing one day it will be over. Time moving forward is so scary sometimes.

So here's a list with things that make me the person I am at this age
1. I bleached my hair, not much, but you can definitely see the difference with last year. I just felt like that suited my face better and made me light up a bit more.
2. I hate my boobs (TMI but who cares haha). 
3. I still hate my body image and suffer with eating problems. Probably because I am bigger than I used to be, and I am still getting used to my reflection in the mirror every day. It has gotten a lot better this year. I became more vocal about them online and with my mom. This helped me so much. 
4. I don't paint much anymore. School consumes all my time.. and inspiration has been lost for some time now. I do other things. Like creative writing, I just started trying it and love the new challenge.
5. After doubting for ages (what's new?) I started to study occupational therapy, I love it so much. But it's so hard. And there isn't a day where I think about quitting (like right this second..).
6. Cycling is my new big passion.
7. I am not so socially awkward anymore, more outgoing and more open about the thought off meeting new people. It's still scary, and I don't really meet new people often. But when I do, I don't mind opening my mouth. It's a start.
8. I found out who my real friends are and can't imagine living a day without them.
9. I find out more and more every day how different I am than the rest of my family.
10. I LOVE hummus, chocolate with quinoa, salt chips, guacamole and paprika burgers. 
11. Pajamas are my daily attire, comfort over style always. Not saying I don't believe you can't be stylish and comfortable at the same time, that's what I am striving for. But I have been a little lost this year fashion wise.
12. I made the decision that I don't want to be a materialistic person and would choose being able to travel over everything so that has been my main focus this year. Saving up so I can see the world. I am starting to throw stuff away, I would have never been able to do this a year ago.
13. Love is just not my thing. Not good at it, don't really need it. 
14. Bellerose is my favorite clothing brand.
15. I have been obsessed with broadway musicals like Hedwig and the angry inch, Hamilton and The book of mormon. Not film musicals, they are cringe to watch, I mean live musicals. It's a guilty pleasure.
16. Youtube and TV series consume most of my time.
17. I don't really like being to social. Sitting alone in my room can make me very happy.
18. I still struggle with hormonal acne, and can't seem to figure out how to control it for longer than a month.
19. I stopped wearing make-up as much.
20. Harry styles, how embarrassing it is to admit, is very handsome. Very handsome.
21. Blue is my favorite color to wear. Or bright orange, that color always makes me feel 10x more happy.
22. Disposable camera's are the best thing invented.
23. The catcher in the rye is my favorite book.
24. Sometimes I feel like starting my life over again.
25. I feel depressed way more than I am willing to admit.
26. I have walked around this entire year with glasses that aren't strong enough and therefore being blind 90% of the time...
27. I am scared I won't reach my goals and time is passing way to fast.
28. I don't go outside enough.
29. I still don't know how to do my own washing..
30. My freckles have changed in a way, I can't quite figure out yet how.


My skin and hair routine

Friday, 14 July 2017

My skin is very very sensitive. I can't put anything to harsh or special on it, or it decides to break out right away. And not a little, it will break out really bad. I have struggled with acne for 2 years now. And I am so over it. In this time I tested so many products to keep my skin under control. After a long search I finally found a routine that works. I don't break out that crazy anymore. My acne is mainly caused by hormonal reasons but it get's triggered by using the wrong products. I've learned if I just keep it very minimal my skin looks almost clear, and I don't have that much trouble with it. So my routine is now super simple, vegan and fairly cheap. So let's go over the steps:

1. Wash my face with water
2. Put some rose water on.
3. As a moisturizer I like to use a small amount of extra virgin coconut oil, I buy mine at Delhaize. It's nothing harsh or chemically on my skin, and that's what mine likes. The less the better. I also don't put this on everyday, I like to leave my skin bare for 2 or 3 days a week, to give it a rest.
4. If I have real bad acne I put some tea tree oil on my problem areas.

1. Removing make-up: I stopped wearing make-up for most of the time. But from time to time I will still feel like putting something on. When I do I use my coconut oil again to remove it.
2. I love washing my face afterwards with The body shop Tea Tree Skin Clearing Foaming Cleanser.

I don't like putting a moisturizer or serum on at night because I hate sleeping with the feeling of having something on my face. So I just let my skin breath at night and put nothing on it. 

I love having these relaxing nights were you put on a face mask and just do nothing. But I haven't really found a mask that works for me. I bought this really expensive one.. And it breaks me out like crazy, it's like nothing I have ever experienced before. I will wash it off and 3 more pimples have popped up... So no masks for me now sadly! If you have any good recommendations, let me know!

My hair is very thin and pithless. But we try to make it work. Honestly I don't really care much about my hair, I have sort off given up on it already. I used to put so much effort in getting it thick and more volumes. I will never have such hair so why not let it be all thin and natural. Definitely no hairspray for me anymore. It makes my hair feel so gross. I always wash my hair in the morning because I am the wildest sleeper I guess, my hair looks like that of a crazy person when I wake up. So we need to tame that. I was my hair 2 max. 3 times a week. As a shampoo I use Lush rehab or Rituals The Ritual Of Sakura Shampoo and to condition it I love Davines Love conditioner. When my hair needs a little extra love I use this hair mask also by Davines called Minu. And that's everything I do to my hair. 


A solo trip to Amsterdam

Thursday, 6 July 2017

I decided to take a four day trip all by myself to Amsterdam this week. I love spending time alone and take a moment to myself to reflect and just enjoy life on my own. This trip seemed like the perfect opportunity to do that. And spoiler alert, it also was. I enjoyed every second of it. Even sleeping in a shared hostel room with this strange 40 year old woman with pink streaks in her hair... I had already visited Amsterdam 3 years ago, so I didn't really feel the pressure to visit the typical tourist spots. The only touristy thing I did was visit the Stedelijk Museum. And it was worth it! The exhibition was unreal. It was about De Stijl and all the artist later influenced by this art movement. Definitely recommend. Other than that I just walked around the streets trying to find pretty streets and interesting spots. I also spent most of my time more on the outside of Amsterdam. I loved it there more, it was calmer and also really beautiful minus all the tourists. 


© LYHD • Theme by Maira G.